10 Things To Give Up If You Want To Be Successful
We all measure success in different ways. Being financially stable, truly happy, fulfilled – whatever it means to you, we all strive for success. Considering it’s a new year and a fresh start, what better time than now to figure out what success looks like to you and how you’re going to get there.
Don’t feel like you need all the answers right now. Know there will be things to add to your life in order to achieve success, but there will also be things to eliminate. Consider the people and things in your life that don’t serve you. What gets in the way of your happiness and success?
Here’s 10 things to consider giving up if you want to be successful (regardless of what it means to you!)
Give up excuses
It’s easy to blame others or outside factors when things aren’t going your way. But when you can own up and take responsibility for your future – this is when great things start to happen. Once you give up those excuses, you’ll be able to grow both personally and professionally. We realize this can be scary but try and think of all the positivity that will come of it. Sometimes excuses are really forms of avoidance when something is hard to face. Try to identify if you are avoiding something and if so, what you fear might happen if you were to face it.
Give up control
Although we are in control of our own destiny, it’s important to remember that you can only control so much. We can’t help how others feel, what they’re thinking or what they’re doing. The only things we can control are our own thoughts and actions, and our responses to things. Detaching from what you cannot control is much easier said than done (meditation and mindfulness help with this!) But what it can do for your mental health in the long run has extreme benefits. It’s all about perspective and attitude. Once you can see things from a different perspective and / or have a positive attitude, it really opens up a whole new world. Sometimes letting go of trying to control the things you can’t leads to a great deal of relief and acceptance of reality.
Give up toxic people
It’s a new year, so out with the old and in with the new! Of course no one enjoys being around toxic people. But when they come in the form of a long-time friend or even a family member, giving up that relationship can be extremely difficult. You just have to ask yourself – is it worth your own misery to continue to have them in your life? What are the pros and cons of maintaining this relationship? What are you getting out of it? It’s not selfish to put yourself first. Spend your time with those who want to better themselves and make a positive mark on the world. Surround yourself with people who accept you and support you living according to your own values. Don’t waste your time on those who bring negativity into your life.
Give up the unhealthy lifestyle
Besides mental health (something we of course find very important here at MindWell!) three key components to a healthy lifestyle are quality sleep, healthy/balanced eating, and balanced physical activity. This may sound like common knowledge but it’s not always easy to incorporate these things into your life. We’re busier and more stressed out than ever. But at what cost? Even if you feel like you don’t have enough time in your day for a balanced meal or a work out, now is the time to prioritize those things. Put your physical, mental and emotional health first. It will only benefit the other aspects of your life (both personally and professionally) in the long run. If you’re having trouble getting started, try to identify factors that are interfering. Or try to pick one thing to prioritize - whether it’s going to sleep earlier, getting to the gym once per week, making sure to eat breakfast, or something else. You don’t have to change everything at once.
Give up the short-term mindset
When you set long-term goals, it’s the short-term habits that will get you there. Make these healthy habits part of who you are, as opposed to just feeling like you have to do them. Instead of changing eating habits to lose weight, eat healthy because it’s good for your energy levels and mood, and it will help you live a longer and healthier life. Sometimes having long-term goals to work toward can help us determine active steps to take in the short-run. What’s important to you in the long run? What do you want your life to look like in one month, 6 months, one year, 5 years?
Give up perfection
Nobody is perfect. We’ve heard it a million times but it can be challenging to accept. It’s often effective to want to grow and improve yourself, but it’s not healthy to feel like you have to be 100% perfect all the time. Honestly…what is perfect anyway? Just like success means something different to everyone, so does perfection. So beating yourself up over something that doesn’t even really exist, doesn’t seem like the best use of your time. In DBT we talk about the idea that “everything is perfect as it is.” Consider this notion. What would be different in your life if you accepted this idea?
Give up your need to be liked by everyone
It feels good to be liked and it doesn’t feel good not to be liked. So we are more likely to make a decision that gets us liked (even if it’s not the most effective decision for you). Being truly confident in who you are means that you don’t feel the need to justify yourself. And you know not everyone is going to like you (and that’s okay!) Everyone has different tastes – in food, in movies, and even in people. You could be the nicest, most generous person in the world and there will still be people who don’t like you. Knowing that is one thing, accepting it is key.
Give up playing small
You know what they say…go big or go home. This goes along with that short-term mindset – it’s the long-term, big dreamer mindset that’s going to get you places. You don’t want to live life with regrets, so it's important to take opportunities (whether they end up being a success or a failure). Regardless of the outcome, you’ll always learn something from it. We need to make mistakes in order to learn and move forward. It’s these lessons you learn in life that will ultimately lead to your success. Don’t be afraid to fail. Most importantly, don’t be afraid to succeed.
Give up multitasking
We’ve been taught that doing it all makes us better and makes us stronger. But if we aren’t putting our full attention and effort into all we have to do, we just end up doing a mediocre job. Many of us have lengthy to-do lists – personal errands, family matters, plans with friends, tasks at work or just goals you have to improve yourself. It feels like we can never get it all done. It’s okay to check one thing off just for another 5 things to get added on. You’ll get to it. Take things one step at a time and success will come when you put 100% into each task. Mindfulness practice can help you do one thing at a time.
Give up on saying YES to everything
It’s in our nature not to want to disappoint people. The easiest way to please everyone is by saying yes. But does this serve you and your goals? Similarly to how we all want to be liked, sometimes it’s just easier to say yes and make someone happy…even if it’s at your expense. Although it’s the more difficult choice, it will pay off for you in the long run to say no to certain tasks. It may even feel empowering once you get the hang of it.
If you still feel like there’s things in your life getting in the way of your success, it might be time to speak with a professional. Schedule an appointment with one of our therapists today.
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