Is There a Remedy for Loneliness?
Are you feeling lonely and alone in your life? Can you not find a way out of the darkness? Do you feel like you have no one to talk to or call when you are feeling down? Is it near impossible for you to make friends as you watch the people in your life enjoying themselves? Does it feel like everyone is having a good time but you? Then this article is for you.
In short, yes, there is a remedy for loneliness. We want to help you get there. We want to help you find comfort in being on your own . If you are feeling alone, don’t think you are alone in that feeling. It is incredibly common to feel lonely. Almost every human in the world has felt loneliness at least once in their lifetime. In fact, it is estimated that 40% of people will bear the harsh pangs of loneliness at least once in their lives.
To be clear, loneliness is not the same as being alone. Being alone is living your life as a private person who genuinely enjoys the time to oneself by oneself. This time often gives those who enjoy being alone time to process what they went through. This alone time allows them to recharge their inner-battery. On the contrary, loneliness refers to the distinct difference between the amount of time one spends interacting with and feeling intimate with other people and the amount of time one wants to be doing so.
Loneliness often comes from feeling isolated, outcast, or unwanted. Also important to note, loneliness is not only about friendships. For example, someone might have lots of friends but still feel very lonely. However, the pain that one might feel from loneliness does not compare to the joy that might be just around the corner.
There are ways in which to work through this dark feeling and move through it just enough to peek around the corner to see the light. Read below to see our tips and remedies for loneliness.
Before doing anything, see a doctor
It is not uncommon that your signs of loneliness, depression, and anxiety are caused by something happening chemically and/or internally. Whether it be a chemical issue in the brain, food-related, or even hypothyroidism, it is advisable to check with your doctor first. They might be able to help you identify and treat, or rule out, medical causes.
Learn to enjoy your alone time and get comfortable in your thoughts and feelings
Notice how you feel and what you end up doing when you are alone. Are you comfortable with your own thoughts and feelings? Do you feel overwhelmed by these emotions? Or, are you ok with them as they come up? Becoming mindful of your own thoughts and emotions during a time of calm can be crucial. This tool can help you learn to overcome the fear of being alone. Meditation and practicing mindfulness alone allows you to reflect on your feelings. Also, it allows you to gently notice thoughts and feelings and then enables you to make a mindful choice in what to do next. It is not easy, but it is extremely insightful to notice where you are in your state of consciousness and to notice what feelings come up as they impact your inner being and self.
Keeping a journal as you learn to cope with these thoughts and emotions is a great way to stay mindful. Writing your thoughts down keeps you aware of exactly what you are feeling. Try going to a museum, movie, or take yourself out to a dinner date alone. Enjoy what you love doing by being by yourself. Get excited about these activities you love to do. Learn to enjoy them alone before inviting other people to fill that void for you.
Connect to people you relate to
Relating to other people you share interests with is essential for our development as human beings. We are all separated by our minds, bodies, and needs. But we are all connected in our energies, the universe, and basic human feelings. We all have a deep need to connect to others, even if it is just for a fleeting moment. Examples might be sitting on the train, or sitting alone at the bar, or waiting in line for a taco. If you are surrounded by friends or family whom you love but do not relate to, you owe it to yourself to notice the difference. Take note of this. Then, go out and find someone you actually connect with. Take a class in something you enjoy and meet people that way. Join a meetup.com or a group that is about an activity, a place, or thing you love. You have many options for you at your fingertips if you decide to do it. Put yourself out there for the sake of your loneliness. It will help.
Increase your Self-Confidence
Some people feel completely competent alone because they are completely content with themselves. This is so even when there is no one else around. They often feel content being alone because they are content in other places of their lives. For example, they are confident in their personal relationships and their job. Or, they feel confident in what they are doing with their lives on a daily basis. For those with low self-confidence in these or other areas of their lives, it is much easier to feel lonely. Even when around other people on any given day.
If you feel that this might be you, find ways to build your self-confidence. Do things you enjoy doing. Do something you know you are good at or something that is challenging but doable. Accomplish a goal you set out for yourself, or volunteer at a local shelter or food bank. These are all ways that will give you a boost of self-confidence and don’t depend on what others think or say about you. Remember, when you feel happy about yourself, you enjoy being alone with yourself. Thus, you will always feel in good company.
Get out of the house and Do things with People
Occasionally, loneliness is caused by a state of mind where you calculate the difference between the amount of time you spend with others and the amount of time you feel isolated and alone. This can be a scary trap to climb out of. Do not fear! One way to get out of this mindset is to get outside and interact with other people. It doesn’t need to be volunteering if that’s not your thing. (Though it will help because volunteering makes you feel good and other people feel good).
Rather, it could be as simple as walking in the park or attending a street art or music festival. Or, it could mean going to a dance class or shopping at a vintage store. Putting yourself in a space where others are increases your chances of interacting with them. Thus, finding things you might have in common and walking away with a new friend is a possibility. Ultimately, forcing yourself out of your comfort zone can end your feelings of loneliness and calm your feelings of isolation.
Talk to a professional therapist
Seek help if your thoughts or emotions are becoming darker and darker. Or, if you are losing the ability to climb out of your loneliness alone, talk to a professional. Loneliness is common but it can also be a disguised form of depression. Here at MindWellNYC, we are here to help you through your toughest times. Contact us today to schedule your first session. Find out how we may help you manage your life’s challenges more effectively. We are here for you and we look forward to hearing from you
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