7 Signs It Is Time to Seriously Consider Couples Counseling
Relationships aren’t always easy. More often than not, conflicts arise and your relationship teeters upon a breaking point. Contrary to what you might have heard, it is actually normal and healthy to go through hard times with your partner. The process of learning how to problem-solve together can make your bond stronger in the end. But how do you know if it’s time to confront these issues with your partner, let alone seek out a professional? We are here to help.
The thing is, breakups are never easy and divorce is pretty final (mostly). These major life changes can add an immense amount of stress, heartache, and can seriously injure your self-confidence and sense of self-worth. No one likes a break up. They are difficult, painful, and evoke great change in your life that otherwise was once quite happy, easy, and some might even dare to say, “normal”. If you are experiencing signs of strife in your relationship, there is a way to work through it. The answer often is found in couples counseling. With a great deal of hard work and dedication on both sides, breakups can be stopped or facilitated depending on the goal with the aid of a professional counselor. Remember, couples counseling is not a last resort effort. On the contrary, it is a healthy, effective way of relationship upkeep. Many couples go through it feeling rejuvenated in the end. Often both partners find a new unconditional, compassionate understanding for their partner and this can make all the difference in maintaining a healthy relationship that lasts.
But you might be thinking, “when is it a good time to think about counseling with my partner?” Simply put, it might be time when you realize you are receiving more enjoyment and support outside of the relationship than when you are in it. This would be a great time to start asking yourself if you want to put in the work to make this relationship last and work for both of you, or if you don’t. Either way, take a look at our 7 signs it is time to seriously consider couples counseling below. Who knows? It might just spark a conversation with your partner this very evening!
You are not communicating well
Relationships depend on effective communication between both partners. If you feel afraid, nervous, or resentment bubbling to the surface when attempting to communicate, then this is a sure sign you are in need of couples counseling. You need to be able to express freely with your partner without avoidance, fear, or anger. Without communication, relationships tend to die. So save the relationship and communicate the need for counseling with your partner. This might just be the saving grace for you both.
You’re unhappy with your sex life
Sex plays a key role in happy, long-lasting, healthy relationships. It’s completely normal for you and your partner to hit a rut in long-term relationships, especially in the bedroom. All the more reason to seek out couples counseling to help ignite some sexy, fun, and creative intimacy together. If you or your partner are even thinking about cheating, it is time to seek out therapy, and invest in time to refocus on your own intimacy with each other.
Either you or your partner have experienced a major life transition
It is common for couples to reach a breaking point when they have gone through a specific life altering experience or trauma together. People deal with grief and loss in very different ways and this might be true for you and your partner. This is a great time to talk to your partner, ask them if they will consider going to counseling with you, and seek professional help for couples going through life transitions, grief, or loss. This will help you manage your emotions and work together to overcome an intense experience. Also, this might even strengthen your bond with one another simply by working together in this rather than separately.
One partner is thinking about breaking up
If you know either you or your partner are already thinking about breaking up, try counseling first. Couples counseling exists for this reason. People might be afraid or think that counseling is for the weak. However, couples counseling actually makes you stronger and is a clear indication that you both care a lot about the relationship you’re in and are willing to do the work to make it last. Your thoughts might be wandering towards others or other experiences, but what would happen if you gave your partner another shot with the help of a professional? You might be surprised how they might help you see another side of things and kick those thoughts to the curb.
You keep having the same fight
If you and your partner sound like a broken record, it’s time to seek counseling. Now, if there is an underlying issue that is repeatedly not getting solved, this might need the help of a third party to discuss ways of mending the issue. A counselor can provide a listening ear to help you see the other person’s point of view without the constant fighting, harsh language, avoidance, or projecting that might occur if you were to try and handle it alone. There is a reason why the same issue keeps coming up. If your frights have repeated themselves more than twice, seek out a counselor to try and find a way out of the repetitive cycle.
You have said or heard “It’s not you, it’s me”
Oh I love it when you say that to me! Said, no one ever. No one likes to hear those words. And the truth is, it’s never just about one person. Inevitably, we project our own fears, doubts, and insecurities into our relationships, especially if it has been a long time. This is a great opportunity to seek professional help to allow you to take responsibility for your own happiness and provide ways in which your partner can cope. A couples counselor can provide strategies for you both where you can work together to build strength, communication, and supportive techniques so you both can learn to resolve this issue together.
One partner had a physical or an emotional affair
You might be texting or emailing someone else in secret, talking on the phone when you’re out of the house or away from your partner, or staying a little too long at your local bar to flirt with the bartender. Or, you might even be seeing someone else and be in a full blown affair. If this is the case, you and your partner should talk about it and strongly consider counseling. Here’s the thing, people do come back from affairs. Though this might be one of the toughest things to go through and admit or find out about, it is also healthiest if you confront it head on, with the help of a professional if you wish to work out the reasons why this might be happening with your partner.
If these reasons aren’t hitting home with you, check out why people like Michelle Obama believe couples counseling “is so important” in formulating a long-lasting, healthy marriage. Couples Counseling is a great way to build trust, compassion, and understanding in long-lasting relationships. There is no need to fear counseling, it is healthy and completely normal. If this is something that might interest you, seek out a professional today at MindWellNYC. We are here for you.
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